You wouldn’t believe it, the singer says. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her newish partner, and finally the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for ten years, riding high. Suddenly in March she was found to have cancer in her breast.
The singer-songwriter, actual name J. Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The LP, her latest release, was supposed to be an open book, dealing with every ounce of devastation she’d endured since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, emotional abuse, suicide) with characteristic openness. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Then next release, Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was talking to press about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly coping with the disease. A month later she went public, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She gives me her best “What the fuck?” glance. “I come out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.
We meet at a photography studio in London. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with elaborate white patches, beige footwear and big frames. Imagine motorcycle style meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She grins. She is sharp-witted, irreverent and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her initial standup show soon. “I enjoy humor. On stage I often tease the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was preparing for an slot at the ceremony when she noticed an abnormality. “I immediately went to get it looked at, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they said, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The physician told her if it was concerning she’d call on the Monday. By then she had persuaded herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had many commitments.
“We’re two weeks away from launching this thing after years away and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your biopsy results have come back as malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I said, ‘That’s unfortunate. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. In urgent cases you are wheeled, but now I just walked with a gown on and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been blessed. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the procedure. “Cancer sucks, man, but however Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my one side now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” A further beam. “At least the nipple remains.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her chest, she notes, are now “uneven. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be ideal. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so upbeat because she’s experienced in health crises. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or punch in the stomach, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘You having a good time? Hold on.’ Ever since I was a child, it has consistently accompanied high points for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”
She reminisces to her youth, already making her debut featuring in the stage in the production (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was diagnosed with the medical problem Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She fast-forwards several years, and teenage Jess has joined the female band the group while studying at the performing arts school. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a stroke. Then when I was ready to debut in 2020 I had a automobile accident and my throat was injured and I was unable to vocalize for a long period.”
Hey, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
